Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
