do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
