is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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