Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
