I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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