Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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