dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize