He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
