I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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