remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
