It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
