im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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