genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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