Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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