So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
