apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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