wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
