Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
