if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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