You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
