So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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