You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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