She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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