Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
