do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize