There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
