Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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