The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
nutella sex= disaster
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
