I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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