I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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