girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize