I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize