I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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