i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I smell like Dick and happiness
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
