I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
