Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
In other news, I just burned my penis
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
