This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
