I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize