I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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