I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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