I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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