omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize