This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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