She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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