Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
