OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize