I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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