The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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