omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
