Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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