is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
