I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
