does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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