I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
