Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
