i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
