I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
