you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
