grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
