I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
