Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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