So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
