Its about making memories worth repressing
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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