It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
