The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
