hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
