How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
