Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
