somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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