Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
people are starting to question the shark bite story
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
