Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
